When Efficiency Leads to Meltdown


A middle-aged autistic wrote in about her recent meltdown. When another (younger) woman suggested hormones might be behind it, I responded:

I think women our age [mine and the original poster's] are exempt from the hormonally inspired mood swings. (Can't say as I ever noticed any regularity to my mood changes even when I was young, come to that.)

No, I suspect [the original poster] may be like me in this regard. For me, when I get too much done (i.e., when I'm doing a lot more than I usually do), it's like the doing revs me up. Like one of those little cars that you rev up by repeatedly running it in little strokes against the floor. The energy accumulates inside and turns acidic, eating its way back out, producing absurd bursts of self-hatred and rage.

"Acting out" seems to be the only way to externalize that energy. If we could find some way to do it other than breaking our glasses, tearing our hair, etc., that would be nice.



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